Ways to avoid and solve drama


Drama is a part of everyone’s daily lives. But there are ways to avoid it and solve it.

Michele Matson, Staff Writer

Everyone has to face drama at some point in their life, whether it’s two friends arguing about something one of them said, siblings fighting over the TV remote, adults arguing about abortion, or  political rivals trying to outdo each other. Fortunately, there are ways to solve and avoid drama.

According to mindful.org and wikipedia.org Stephen Karpman, a student under Eric Berne, the father of transactional analysis (a theory and method of therapy based on social transactions), developed a theory called the Drama Triangle to analyze how drama works. The idea behind it is that there are three roles in drama: the victim, the persecutor, and the rescuer.

Firstly, the victim is not actually the victim; they are someone who is just acting like they are being persecuted. They often feel oppressed and helpless but deep down they feel ashamed.

Next, the persecutor is the person who the victim identifies as the one causing them harm. They are controlling and critical. When someone takes on the role of prosecutor they act angry, rigid, and superior.

And finally, the rescuer is the person who works to save the victim from mistreatment. However rescuing does not help the victim. In fact, it helps them stick more into their victim role. By being rescued they do not learn to solve their problems on their own and become independent because someone else is trying to solve the problem for them.

Avoid these roles because when people take up one of these roles they are inserting themselves into the drama. One of the ways to solve drama is to take up a different role. For example, a victim can become a creator. They resist the temptation to sulk in the unfairness of it all and take responsibility. The persecutor can become a challenger and force that victim turned creator to focus on their learning and growth. The rescuer can become a coach. They ask the victim questions that help them see possibilities for positive action and focus on what they want instead of what they don’t want.

Apart from this, a lot of drama is caused by how people react to it. Reacting aggressively can cause people to say rude and hurtful things to other people. Saying those kinds of words to someone will cause that person to react in anger and say the same things. This starts a cycle of anger and hate. Calming oneself down and asking “Is this really that big of deal?” can prevent them from using aggressive tactics.

According to lifehack.org avoid gossiping. Gossiping is not always 100 percent true. In addition no one likes it when people gossip about them. If they found out that someone was gossiping about them they might get mad, starting that cycle of anger and hate discussed earlier.